Have you ever gotten so used to your way of doing things that when things change you realize how much you rely on the familiarity of something. It becomes almost a limiting factor in our walks with God
For instance, this past weekend I went to church, mostly out of routine, and was faced with a service that was so completely different that I found myself clutching at the familiarity of songs…. Hmmm now I realize that they may not make much sense. Let me explain.
This service was different in that I probably knew one song that was sung. And half new knew about two. I caught myself almost frantically clutching, trying to grab a hold of a certain chorus I knew. I suddenly caught myself thinking. Why am I doing this. Why I am longing for these familiar parts in a song.
And it made me think about my walk with God, and about how I connect with God. And how I feel closer to God when I sing a song I know, when I can just sing. But often that’s just what I do. I just sing the song cause I like it. Not because its worship, and I realize how warped my worship must seem to God. Surely God doesn’t care about the song, how good it sounds, if its popular or not, he cares about the heart that sings it
I remember once listening to two people come up and share their testimony. One was a teacher, who was familiar with being up front, and the other was a plumber, who was used to working behind the scenes. The teacher went up and spoke so clearly, and so well, everything he said, was excellently said. He made the crowd laugh at all the right times. But somehow when he then got off the stage I felt an emptiness, unaffected by what he said. Then the plumber came up, ah man he stuttered, he was all shakey, his words were often mumbled up. He looked quite petrified to be up there. But there was something that was so incredible about his testimony. Something reached through his words like a hand grabbing my attention. It was his heart, his words may not have been polished, his words not the greatest, but man his heart for God gripped me!
Its the same with God, he doesn’t want our polished prayers, our perfect lines. He wants our heart, and that’s one scary thing to give. Because our hearts aren’t the most polished things in our lives, but they are the most precious thing we can give to him
Sometimes I find myself clinging to perfect prayers, trying to sing a song the right way, or trying my best to do the right thing. Which are not always a bad a thing, but what I find is all these things just happen when I just do the simple thing of just loving God and letting go of the familiar.