I’ve been telling myself, I need to write to you guys, I need to write. But another part of me, I think more Jesus than me, has been tellin me to wait, just wait. Don’t write because you feel you should, write because, I said you must.
So I write now, not cause I feel I should, but cause I feel God’s got something he wants to say, forgive me if I speak in circles, forgive me the words that are written, are all over the place.
So I was challenged to do something today, that would make me desperate, make me yearn to be with God, to hear his voice… and after varsity, I got home and after a crap day, wasnt at all excited to do anything, especially anything that had to do with God. I was over it.
But its amazing how when you give up something that you need, you realise how much God sustains us… if we only let him.
Anyway, I watched a dvd, from UNITED, the old united we stand documentry, I had seen it before, and figured, hey, I’m struggling to chill with God right now, maybe He’ll speak to me through it.
It was neccesarily what was said in that DVD that influenced me, that made me go, wow that was cool. It was more the heart at which everything was said. I was involved in full time ministry last year, and often you experienced what I like to call “the not so nice side of the church” and it instilled a great sense of disappointment in my heart, in many ways. And forgive me if I stand toes, but I think, and I know it is true often in my life that we forget about the reason why we originally got involved in ministry. In the beginning it was all about God, all about his glory… and as we go along we start gettin a little of the glory, which feels great, and pretty much from then on end, we work for our glory, and God is just out tool to get this glory.
And eventually after a few months of this, “doing stuff for God” becomes a drag, a mission, a pain… and I think often we point stuff like this to burn out, but in actual fact often its because “doing stuff for God” is the mask that we wear.
The funny thing is that its not only in ministry that we become like this, our lifestyle changes, and it becomes what can we get out, how can we feel good. And our whole perception of what God is and what he wants us to do becomes warped… and living for God becomes a chore, a drag, an annoyance.
Last night we had a combined lifegroup worship session and God showed me (dunno if he showed it to me or he just got me thinking)…
Before we knew God, we had the clothing of the world upon us, and this clothing was so dirty and so heavy and such a burden to carry… and wear, but when we started to live for God, he took off all our clothes, tore them off, and gave us his clothes, his amazingly light and awesome clothes. And we were on fire, burning, everyone could see that God had moved in our lives, changed us… and as we grew and got older, we clothed ourselves in some of the worlds clothes again, putting them on slowly, sometimes without even realising it… then one day wondering, geez where’s God in my life and why cant I see him working, why cant I see him shining out of me… and only when we realise that we cant move our arms and legs and body because we are so full of the worlds clothes on again, do we realise that we have covered him, dulled his light… and once again he rips it off again… and we shine once more.
I feel like this message could be negative and I pray that it doesnt come across like that… God has been taking off these worldy clothes in my life, ripping them apart, challenging me to go to deep, not just do the Jesus thing, but to live it out, for him and for no-one else… but most of all he has challenged me to when he rips the world off my shoulders, to not start clothing myself again in it, but instead to wear his clothes.
to wear his grace, his love, and his understanding
Shine bright always!
Remember no one is perfect, but everyone can strive for perfection in our awesome Dad